matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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