you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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