Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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