Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
