he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
