its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
