Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
