is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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