idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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