Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize