brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have tasted many bathrooms
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
