there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Your dad touched me again.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
