Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
