too bad you live with your parents still
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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