He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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