There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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