Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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