I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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