Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
