I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
