I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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