hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
