just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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