You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
