Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where is the hickey?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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