ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
