Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
