My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
