it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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