i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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