i jhust puked up my retainher.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My liver just had a heart attack.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
