Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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