i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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