just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
