ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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