When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am one with the molecules
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
