Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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