worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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