I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
