turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
