shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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