A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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