Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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