And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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