I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
