i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
