i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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