im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
