You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
