Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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