I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
