i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
