TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
