i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
