do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
