your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
