We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
