I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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