You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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