just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
