Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
