Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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