Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize