Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
